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Old 09-05-2018, 07:51 PM   #81
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Old 09-05-2018, 07:52 PM   #82
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Old 09-14-2018, 04:36 PM   #83
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Ouch!
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If you can make things better, do so. Independence brings freedom, but also responsibility. Because good ideas spread faster than ever, there’s an imperative to listen and learn and then to level up. Seth Godin
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Old 09-14-2018, 08:22 PM   #84
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They might be an "ouch"; but they make for the best stories!
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Old 11-08-2018, 02:31 AM   #85
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I had amnesia once -- or twice.
*****
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
*****
I am neither for nor against apathy.
*****
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
*****
If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
*****
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
*****
They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
*****
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home, and when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
******
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
*****
One nice thing about egotists ... They don't talk about other people.
*****
My weight is perfect for my height ... Which varies.
*****
I used to be indecisive. Now, I'm not sure.
*****
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
*****
How can there be self-help groups?
*****
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
*****
Is it just me, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
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Old 12-03-2018, 05:35 PM   #86
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Since the Holiday Season has arrived...

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Old 12-03-2018, 07:49 PM   #87
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hmmm....
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2018 THOR Chateau 35SF
Two Labs, Bugsie & Blondie
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Old 12-03-2018, 07:51 PM   #88
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That's when the fight got serious...
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Old 12-03-2018, 08:01 PM   #89
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Or, you finally realize how insignificant you've always been!!
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Old 12-03-2018, 08:09 PM   #90
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Or, you finally realize how insignificant you've always been!!
LOL - you notice she doesn't say 'when' she'll back

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Old 12-03-2018, 08:10 PM   #91
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Since the Holiday Season has arrived...
Ummm...where's the TP...or is that why he wears gloves?
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Old 12-03-2018, 08:15 PM   #92
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Y'all just convinced me I needed another section to check off on my departure list. "DOG". I'm divorced already.
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Old 12-08-2018, 12:38 AM   #93
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Old kitchen utensils never die, they just get redeployed to the RV!
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Old 12-08-2018, 01:03 AM   #94
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"I refuse to buy the book 1000 Places to See Before You Die because I've realized I just don't have that much time!"
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Old 12-08-2018, 02:37 AM   #95
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Old kitchen utensils never die, they just get redeployed to the RV!


We did the same
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Old 12-14-2018, 11:28 PM   #96
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December 26th, 2018
Location: Insurance Claims Office Phone System
Caller: "I'd like to report a Homeowner's policy claim."
Claims Rep: "I'm sorry to hear that you've had difficulties:
exactly what happened?"
Caller: "Well, the Missus and I had just settled in on
Christmas Eve, when I heard a loud series of bumps and
scraping noises up on my roof. I sprang to my feet; to see
What was the matter, and ran to a good spot to see my roof.
I couldn't believe what I saw! There was a red sleigh being
pulled by a whole bunch of reindeer, and a fat guy on my roof!
Those critters were kicking the Hell out of my shingles: I
had just put that new roof on, so I was plenty pissed! I
pulled out my .357 mag, and shot a half-dozen of those beasts!
Well: the Old guy jumped off the roof and started running! The
couple of animals that were still alive, also jumped off, and ran
to our Town Park. Animal Control Officers rounded them up this
morning.
But I didn't dare call the Police. That guy kept screaming that
he was always watching, and knew when I was sleeping...
So I have a question for you.
Claims Rep: What is your question, Sir?"
Caller: "Do you have any good recipes for Caribou?"
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Old 12-14-2018, 11:58 PM   #97
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Well, how about a true funny story. I once decided to take the second entrance into a new Flying J so I could pull around the back and face out to the street. I thought pull through and drive out...perfect. That was until I found out the second entrance was not completed. No way to back up onto the highway even if I disconnected the Jeep, so I bounced around the grass in a giant circle with toad in tow and made it back onto the pavement. Everyone at the station was watching, so I just waved and kept going.

Two years later I think my wife finally trusts my judgement.
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Old 12-15-2018, 12:22 AM   #98
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Two years later I think my wife finally trusts my judgement.
She does???
This is the first time that I've ever heard anybody admit this!

Mine doesn't even trust me, when she asks me what time it is!
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Old 12-23-2018, 10:28 PM   #99
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Old 12-24-2018, 01:12 AM   #100
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Merry Christmas to All!

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...while dreams of scenic campsites filled our heads...
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