Good Morning,
We bought our Aria 3901 last month so my answers are based on limited experience with this coach. We have put 6500 miles on her this past month.
1. The seat does adjust in everyway, the steering wheel is also very adjustable. We think someone of your wife's height should have no problem.
2. You are correct on the dinette being used as a bed. One adult sleeping diagonal or children would be comfortable in that area.
3. We just drove from TN to AZ this week, you did have fight the winds but they were not any worse than our Class C was. This coach has an awesome ride!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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