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Thanks.
We're fine.
It really wasn't a thing.
We have found out since, after an analysis and a semi-confession from the old uncle:
He knew who and what she was when she showed up and was giving her a chance to see how she acted when the family got there. As it progressed and I'm hugging her and talking in a low voice(I have whisper and shout as my only moderation and it comes and goes kinda on its own unless I lower it an octave.) the old guy was a step ahead of me at every step.
He knew in a minute that I couldn't normalize her for a day let alone bring her back to societal norm.
When we left my other sister there overnight night to keep a nonconfrontational eye on everything, harold got the car ready, checked the tires, put the bug in the crazy sister's ear about how that car was still in my dad's name and had a full tank of fuel. He said someone had moved the keys from where they normally are and if she finds keys looking like avalon keys, to hang them right on that hook.
We showed up an hour early or she'd have been gone and no one would have known about her and the car at all.
Sly guy knew exactly what was up.
Played the sad old guy card and we all fell for it. We were all so worried about him being stressed... And he had our back the whole time. All he needed was the time to make sure the path it was a going and then he took a clean shot....
My spousal unit, who somewhere in this became some sort of hacker ninja, said
'watch this shit and do Not speak until I'm done'
busted into two laptops, two phones, a savings account, a checking account and a credit card, stopped access to all, then transferred all notices and alerts to her phone. (can you POSSIBLY believe that BofA is closed on Friday Saturday and Sunday?)
The Kathy I spoke of came over to her dad's last night(we stayed an extra day so we could have her and the uncle with us under destressed circumstance) she let us buy the car without any fight or simulated argument of 'oh, you don't have to do that'
Then she said
'oh, I just tell everyone I'm an insurance clerk so I don't have to talk about work'
Opened her laptop, pushed some buttons, verrrryyyy rapidly and used some after hours password she just happened to know, accessed something, and transferred all the car paperwork to my sister's name.
So Monday morning some dmv clerk in Nevada will find a transfer and process it to a C/O address and my sisters name.
Then they'll find the drivers license cancelation request(no one does that but it exists) and process that.
All is well.
There was $500, one now dead credit card and a driver's license in the stolen wallet and she landed an old, but pristine Avalon my dad paid $2,000 for.
Big punchline :
I'm the executor and that dumb and addled sister just did about a 10:1 trade for that Avalon.
I'll open a seperate savings account at the bank, stash that cash, and maybe she'll find her way back to polite society and need a hand.
Same parameters as the last 40 years, two years w2 and one clean drug test.
Chance taken, hearts re-broken, fears re-realized, 35 year old men reduced to 4 and 5 year olds again, vulnerabilities we swore we'd never have again, put on a silver platter and handed to the reason for the suppression, and now, and sadly and mournfully, rechinked and reloaded and newly painted.
We are not a vulnerable bunch. The death of dad thing wasn't much of a thing.
Man, this sister thing has once again poisoned an entire well of kith and kin.
It wasn't any of us who failed this week, but we a sure as hell felt it was us.
Anyway:
Dads dead.
On the back of the instruction wrote in big letters
'hey Billy! I'll bet you a
Dog turd to a doughnut I'm having a better time than you are right now!
And
I'm going to call the good sister from dad's phone tomorrow.
It'll take her a split second to figure out its me, her knees will have gone weak, she'll have turned pale, she might even pee a little.
Then she'll immediately be laughing so hard she'll hardly be able to say it but she'll answer by saying:
'adult potty training services,' Billy just isn't getting it' department... You f'ing dick.' And then I'll pee a bit, but from laughing.
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