my solution was rigid extenders and stabilizers like these, which are basically "rubber" flanges that fill the hole
Dually Valves - Stabilizers
I had trouble finding extenders long enough and ended up ordering some on ebay, but in the end it all works well.
I'd like to have the duallyvalve long valves installed, but at this point I'm not convinced it's worth the hassle unless MAYBE if you're doing tire work anyway