Sorry for your suffering. Many of us have traveled that same road, and found that life had something better to offer. That's usually hard to see when you are in the middle of it. You are closing a chapter with plenty of darkness, the next chapters you get to write yourself! Our troubles make us bitter or better. I'm hoping for better for you as are your many forum friends here!
There are friends, there are family, and then there are friends that become family!