I open the gray valves when showering on a full hook up and the black always stays closed till we hit at least 2/3. The joy of a full hook up is the ability to use the water freely without having to run in and out to open and close valves. If you are worried about flies, and there is truth to that one, keep the gray closed while not using the water or bend the sani hose into a "P" trap under the drain. As far as sewer rats getting into your RV I have been RVng first with my family while growing up in the 60-70s and then through 25+ years and several RVs of my own I have never heard of rats getting into an RV through the sewer. Not saying it can't happen but I've never heard such a thing.
It is possible to get a sewer smell outside your unit from the camp septic with the gray valve open as the gas can come up through your tanks and vent out your roof. But "P" trapping your hose will eliminate that possibility as well. SueTac, If you really want to learn all about owning a motorhome I highly recommend a couple guys on YouTube called RV Geeks. They have an excellent series of vids that will cover many of your questions.
Happy RVng Mark
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2018 ACE 27.2
Toad 2019 Jeep Cherokee Trailhawk
Roadmaster Falcon All Terrain Towbar
Roadmaster Invisibrake
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